This evening while clearing the table after dinner, I noticed that Griff had scraped his knee. Naturally, I inquired about what had happened.

“Jackson bite a knee,” Griff informed me, then added, “Wobert bite a knee.”

I felt moved to record these stunning allegations of rampant knee-biting at day care. In his rambling, raisin-filled testimony, Griff also revealed the surprising truth about his father’s whereabouts during this post-dinner period.

During our after-dinner family walk around the neighborhood, we stumbled upon something even more mind-boggling: a Boobie Tree!

It appears more or less harmless from a distance.

However, as you approach, you can clearly see the shocking truth!

Young children are terrorized by this unexpected arboreal mammary spectacle.

There can be only one solution. I must sneak out at night and put a bra on it. Or maybe some pasties.