Our first days with a newborn have been quite illuminating.

Stuff we’ve discovered so far:

1.) Baby boys can squirt not only the people changing them, but themselves! In the face! Poor Griffin.

2.) Severe swelling in mom’s feet/ankles AFTER giving birth is apparently normal. No one told me this and I freaked out when my feet got so hugely distended that I could barely bend my ankles to walk. Nothing to do about it but wait until the fluid goes away.

3.) Engorgement. Ow, ow, ow. Also, holy crap!!! Ahem.

4.) Griffin is in 3-6 month clothes already. The newborn ones won’t come near to snapping at the crotch, and the 0-3s are tight. Most of the stuff I knit for him is way too small. The flannel blankies are working out great, though!

5.) Overnight cluster feedings are grueling, but we’re still getting more sleep now than we did in the hospital.

6.) Breastfed baby poop DOES stink, despite claims to the contrary by certain groups. At least it’s easy to clean up.

7.) It is of vital importance to keep a stack of clean onesies at the changing table.

8.) As best we can tell, cats are incapable of hearing baby cries. Ours show no reaction whatsoever to even the most banshee wailing. We consider this a good thing.

9.) Everyone at the hospital will give you totally conflicting breastfeeding advice. No wonder so many people just give up and bottle feed.

10.) Single mothers are amazing. We have NO IDEA how they do it.

11.) Things that used to be real annoyances leave us unfazed now. Cat puking in the other room while the phone rings and the timer just went off on dinner? We’ll get to all that after the screaming infant is changed.

12.) Griffin’s farts are hilarious to us now, but we think this will change once he’s 16.

13.) Swaddling rocks.

14.) The “My Brest Friend” nursing pillow: stupid name, awesome product.

15.) When Griffin looks around, all unfocused and newborny and bald, he reminds me of the confused second Picard in this ST:TNG episode. 😀 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Squared_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)